Orphan Shirt Update - Now Buy ONLINE!

With each purchase of our super soft Sonrise tee, you are supporting the rescue of children that have no voice.  100% of the profit goes to the food, medical costs, and daily care of the 19 children of Sonrise Baby Home.  But more important than that you are sharing a message, a much greater message.  The message of James 1:27.  Many people are willing to support and help once they realize the need has a name & a face. 19 beautiful faces each with God's special plan for their life, in this case. 
  

Now, courtesy of Sonrise Ministries, a 501(c)3, you can BUY ONLINE!

 PURCHASE NOW, CLICK HERE

The actual shirt is CHOCOLATE, (darker than sample above).  The shirt is $20 and add $2 to ship.  We do have XL+ sizes :)  This was not a Hi-Res image, the verse on the back is:

Matthew 18:5

"And whoever welcomes a little child like this

in My Name, welcomes Me."

http://www.sonrisebabyhome.org/

Thank you for supporting this ministry, and for even reading my blog. :)

WE LEAVE FOR UGANDA IN 2 weeks!!!!!

Please pray for our preparations,

 this momma of 3 wonders if & how it's all going to get done.

I'm going to be working on murals for the homes this week, pray for supernatural productivity and for God to create something from these hands of mine, cause I can't do anything by myself, without the power of Jesus in my life...EVERY...DAY.

Formula, CROCs and Sheets... Oh MY!!!

Everyone has asked, and I've been crazy with painting murals & T-shirt designs :)  We have 14 shopping days until we pack the donation suitcases!!
Here's what we are collecting.

Fabric Bins (collapsible) as shown on right.
We purchased 28.  Got a huge discount.
Donate $5 each.
(received $ for 19 so far)

This  will give each older child something of their own, to keep their few belongings in.  For the younger babies it will be much needed storage for all the donated clothes/supplies/toys.

TWIN sheets: Need 18 sets:  Have 8
     These are super cheap at Walmart and come in great colors, I will pick up if you aren't local.
     I call these Sheet Brickettes...aren't they cute.  I took all the cardboard out, for less weight.
     Those are the 2 pillowcases in front.

     For $ 15 you can provide linens for TWO Twin Beds.
Donate $7.50 - 1 bed or $15 for 2 beds.

Other Donations we are collecting:
Crocs - USED are fabulous;  Sonrise needs from the smallest toddler size to a child's 4.
                                        Crocs ladies sizes 5-9 (7 prs) _____
                                        We'll take ANY size.  There are many needs in the community.
                                        We are possibly stopping at a child's prison near Kampala,
                                        that you can read about at Sixty Feet.

Plastic Shoebox Containers:  Needed for Medicines/Supplies 6 qt. & 16-20 qt.
     (small $1 at Wmart)  We will stuff our belongings/donations in these inside our suitcases.
     They cannot be bought in UGANDA.

Soccer balls (4) size 3 _____  $6 at Target
Ball pump (1) _____  $6 at Target
Whiffle balls and bat (1 set) _____
CRIB SHEETS, used are fine.
Mosquito Nets (10 needed)   _____ Donate$8/each
     Will purchase in Uganda.
     Malaria is a constant threat to Sonrise children.
T-Shirts to paint with kids (purchased 17) _____ Donate $1.50/ea

usedDVDs-Bible stories, Veggie Tales _____
Cheap light wt. Magna Doodles (x3) _____ Dollar Tree
School Supplies
Paperback Books
Portable-size Baby Swings
     (lighter the better)  We will disassemble & pack in suitcase :)
     NONE in UGANDA

Consumables – Always Needed :
Infant Formula – Infamil/Similac _______ EXPIRED is fine.
     Free samples from MAIL. We'll take ALL.
     Check with Hospitals/Pediatricians
Newborn/Preemie Diapers - Can not be bought in UGANDA
Poly-Vi-Sol Liquid Vitamins ______    NO chewable/gummy please
Children’s Tylenol & Motrin (exp. fine) ______
Infant Drops Tylenol/Motrin (exp. fine) ______
Diaper Creams ______
Toothbrushes (try Dentists)

To Donate or Help in anyway, contact me at
sponsorsonrise@gmail.com
I will purchase EXACTLY what you are lead to send.
This is God's list and He knows what is needed most. :)
Thanks Again.
Love in Christ,
Mandi

Meet Jolly Joe

I love to see my children experience new things

and learn to use their gifts in creative ways to serve the Lord.

My firstborn son was able to be on the CLOWN team

of our church's Living Out Loud summer outreach program.

He's learned to make a mean pirate's sword out of balloons :)

and Saturday he'll be in a VBS parade in a local community.

I'm so thankful for my son Joel.

God uses him everyday to draw me closer to Jesus.

His heart challenges me & homeschooling has been a gift.

I can't wait to see what God does with this precious arrow of ours.

The Original Adoption Story...

is about Moses.  I am drawing & painting some murals to carry over to the baby home we will be visiting in Jinja Uganda in THREE WEEKS (can't believe it's almost here).  After searching & selecting several great Bible story scenes... I selected the image of baby Moses being found by the princess as my largest one, the one I wanted to be special. I liked the colors and then it hit my heart...Moses was ADOPTED.  Now several weeks later, someone else posted this video.  God is ALL about adoption, please keep your heart open to ALL that God may be calling you to.  I don't even know what to do with my heart after I watch this.  Pause my music at the bottom, before you play the video. 



I have to tell you, when I see these precious children sleeping end to end on this bed... I see MY 8 year old, and MY 4 year old, & MY 2 year old.  How would I feel, thinking about my Isaiah going to sleep at night, ALL ALONE? My son sucks his 2 middle fingers as a comfort, and my baby girl her thumb.  This comforts them as they fall asleep.  They also go to this position when nervous, shy, tired or scared.  There have been moments when I put Lucy in time-out and she curled up and the thumb went in her mouth...it hurt my heart (even though she needs my discipline) to think of her having to self-sooth "from Mommy". I know this is a self-soothing technique, and my heart broke thinking about the children who ONLY have themselves for comfort.  Who is there when they have a bad dream?  No child should have to go to sleep at night without the love of a mother & father.  This is not God's plan.  His word tells us, "I will not leave you as orphans."  So what do we do?  It will be different for all of us, but not SO different.  I mean, we can't all say,"well we aren't called to that", some "other" family will have to adopt.  Who are the somebody elses if not Christ followers; with His love to give, with faith in Him to get them through the challenges, with a belief that this life is about so much more than ourselves?   For our family this means we can no longer pretend that we don't know this need is out there.

 "...once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know, and holds us responsible to act."(Proverbs 24:12)

 
We can't say that adoption is just for those with infertility.  We can't excuse ourselves from the reality that we are somewhat equipped as the parents of three, to give the love, care, guidance, & nurturing required to raise a few more arrows in this world. 
This statistic must be faced. 

 34% OF CHRISTIAN FAMILIES

           CONSIDER ADOPTING

           AND ONLY 1 % OF  CHRISTIAN FAMILIES

           ACTUALLY DO.

If we are the hands and feet of Jesus as we await His return, what would He ask of us?  I know the question that "we" had to answer, that flies in the face of all things "American Dream" ....is WHAT are WE LIVING FOR?  What is the end goal?  It's not just to get three kids "raised", let them do all the possible sports/activities they want, get them through college, and do our best to guide them to their own personal relationship with Jesus Christ.  See that last part there, if that is priority #1, showing them by example what walking through this life with Jesus is like ....then that changes everything.  I'm not saying they don't need to be well-rounded, or get a college education.  I'm just saying that when I stand before my maker one day, He's not going to ask about my college degree, or my hobbies or sports, or accomplishments on the job.  All of that is a means to an end, and END of glorifying God with my life.

Awesome T-shirt - Loving Out Loud

The 1st Sonrise Baby Home T-shirt will be a super soft 100% cotton Anvil tee, in CHOCOLATE (lil' darker than photo).    100% of the profit goes directly to the baby home to support immediate needs. 

Each will be only $20.

(Adult S-M-L-XL) (Child YS, YM, YL)

(Adult XXL & XXXL -add $2)

Shipping will be $2 (will combine for multiple)

Promise shipping will be actual or less :)

Thank you for making a purchase

that supports Sonrise Baby Home!

To Order: Please email sponsorsonrise@gmail.com

Name - Shipping Address - Size - Quantity

I will reply with address to send check.

Shirts to be mailed July 8th, if all goes as planned. :)

Confession of a Smartypants

I have fallen, and PRIDE was the cause. 

(Buckle up, this is going to be a long & bumpy one) For those of you who know me in the "real world", HA! They are laughing.  I all too often say, "long story short" and proceed to display my complete INABILITY to edit or condense.  So love me anyway.

I was having some unproductive days. Spinning like a hamster in a wheel, doing some things for our trip to Uganda in July, letting my children "entertain" themselves a bit too much...when I began feeling like things weren't falling into place.  I didn't have peace about what I was working on, as I have experienced it in the past.  That's when a missionary mom in Uganda, whose walk blows me away, wrote THIS and I felt it was just for me.  The words of Jessie Penn jumped off the screen,

"Yes my child, but all your service has been consecrated flesh;

 the outcome of your own energy; your own plans; your own devotion.

All for Me I grant you, but yourself, all the same."

I sat with that for a few days, knowing that God was answering my question..."what's wrong here?"  I've been spinning alright, and my consecrated flesh (all my BIG ideas) has produced nothing but filthy rags.

Before Church Wed. night I learned some information that might change the dynamics of our trip to Uganda in 1 month.  Changes that would pull the rug out from under my confidence in what "we're going to do."  See a theme coming here? I stuffed those thoughts away.  I can't go there.

    

Now, go with me to church.  New church...joined a few months ago..asked to lead a "Handyman" outreach team of 1st-6th graders teaching them to "Live Out Loud" their faith.  This seemed like a perfect fit, Jeremy & I are nerdy do-it-yourselfers.  I get great "joy" out of working alongside my husband on projects. He on the otherhand puts up with me. (Maybe it's because I have too many "helpful" ideas for him too.) Ugh, there it is again...Miss Know-It-All. PRIDE.  Anyway, I digress.

    Last night was our 1st week to go out into the community & "do" a project. Well for weeks I've been trying to get a "good" project lined up.  I had MY ideas.  Nothing came together, hampered by not knowing anyone yet (couldn't be self-sufficient). Frustration.  Everything seemed like we were shoving a square peg in a round hole.  Doesn't seem like we're in God's will here, are we supposed to be doing this Lord?  Last minute request for help comes in, yardwork. Yea, perfect I thought. Details come in, not much yard...rake, do what we can to clean up, pick up trash.  It never registered TRASH, trash.  I'm a doofus thinking yard waste, limbs,leaves, etc, total miscommunication on my part.  We arrived on the scene of a long brick multiplex building.  A kind lady, new member of our church lives in the end unit.  Well her "yard" is a 10x10 square and it's clear..but on the other side of the driveway & circling around the building are overgrown shrubs/trees that are littered with trash. TRASH, the worst "side of the road" filth you've ever seen [old shoes, beer bottles, boxes, soggy clothes with worms, food wrappers, unmentionables] (okay I'll go on with it, i'm painting a picture here people :)

 Now whatcha gonna do Ms. Mandi?

Where's your smiling example for your van full of kids?

Are you going to show them how to serve?

I've gotta tell you, I FAILED.  It was horrible. My attitude inside was as ugly as the trash.  I tried, but I was trying in my flesh.  I knew inside, I was messing up, but I felt powerless to change it.  We had no gloves. We weren't prepared.  I HATE not being prepared. I had TRIED to be prepared.  I pride (oops, there it is) myself on being prepared.  We sent for gloves.  I'm warning the kids to use the inside of the trash bag to pick things up (NUT).  The mom in me is freaking out, "what will the parents say about where I've taken their kids?" Oh my image again (pride).  I realize we're in a swarm of mosquitoes. I'm talking bayou quality, hovering, biting a girl on the face.  The boys are getting in the woods, our eyes focus in on... HUGE poison oak is everywhere.  "RETREAT!", we say.  I'm one of those mosquito magnets...a slappin' fool.  One girl asks to get in the van. 

"Man we're serving now, what a bunch of wimps!"  I didn't bring bug spray (failure). 

I realize to some this may sound like not a big deal.  And yes, in reality it isn't, "so you forgot gloves & bug spray, BIG whoop".  But you'd have to be in my head. I was convicted about my feelings and I was mad that I didn't know how to fix it. We load up, nasty trash in the back (eww), slapping mosquitoes and hand-sanitizing like fools.  You would've thought we were in a Hazardous Materials situation.

God had to be laughing at this painful but much needed lesson...we took our 4yo, who loves to work and he'd stepped in "something" that was now stinking & smeared in my carpet. PUT A FORK IN ME, I'm done.  Fleshly misery at this point.

    Back at church I'm hoping nobody asks me how it went, cause I can't lie to save my life.  My feelings are ALL OVER my face.  A few questions... I try to say something positive and there is was, "Well, next time you can be prepared w/gloves & bugspray!" OH, MY ACHING PRIDE.  Later, I told my husband..."I'm going to the car."

So, take the emotions & fears I'd put away before church and add this bad serving experience, and I broke.

Lord, what am I doing?  Am I totally missing the boat here?

 Am I way outside of your will?  What if our mission trip lead doesn't go?

  What if none of what I've "been planning" is His plan?

Will I be okay if I'm not productive on my trip?

What if we don't solve the water problem? 

 What if we're not able to work & make improvements that are helpful & appreciated?

Will I go if it's only to listen to God, and see/hear what He wants to show me?

Did God tell me to solve the boil water task?  Did God tell me to buy/build furniture?

Did God tell me to create t-shirts & sell them?  OR did it just seem like the smart thing to do...are these just the things that "I" think will help them?  Do they need MY help?  Does God need MY help?  Well duh, that a resounding, NO!  My heart knows that, but has my head been leading this operation, this preparation for our trip?

If I go to Uganda and get to "do" nothing, "accomplish" nothing, how will I feel? Well 1st thought, I will have been a bad steward of $6K.  But wait, it's not MY money, it's HIS money.  This $$ didn't even exist before HE provided it.  It's HIS money, and if He wants to "waste it" [according to my earthly-smartypants thinking], then so be it.  It's HIS plan.

Didn't really even know how to pray yet...was still mad at the evening.  Okay this is just a test...now what's the right way to respond?  Hear any firstborn, parent pleasing, want to do the "right thing", in there?  The thing is, this wasn't a TEST.  It was an object lesson and here it comes (thanks for hangin in there with me).

As I talked with my husband, and later he prayed  with & for me...

God laid the truth on my heart.    

Mandi, you didn't like the trash project because it was unpredictable, you weren't prepared (even though you tried), you weren't in control, the task was so much bigger than what you & a team of kids could do in 45 min. AND the problem that needed fixin' (as we say in the South) was so vast, that even after you tried, you really couldn't tell you'd done anything.  You also weren't able to define an end goal, so there was no, "Hey we accomplished our mission."  "Let's pat ourselves on the back. Good job team."

Now child this is a picture of your Africa trip.  There is a need so great, that your 10 days aren't going to "fix" anything.  You can't be PREPARED for Africa, no way, no how.  You aren't going to be in control of anything.  Are you willing to go even if you won't feel accomplished when you get back?  Are you willing to go even if you can't "help" anybody?  So you look crazy...so some will wonder was it worth it?  I told you to GO.  I don't need your help, or BiG ideas.  I am the Sovereign Lord.  But when you submit your will to mine, and lay down your plans, out of my love for you I will include you, grow you, use you as a vessel for MY GLORY, and MY GLORY alone, no "atta Girls" here.  Just pouring my love through you.

I heard and I wept, and my mind marinated on this truth and the trickle down effect of PRIDE revealed in many areas of my daily life. I am humbled by this lesson. I rejoice that I heard God clearly, knowing that it's not a 1 time deal. I will fall again, but He is there to save me every day.

2 Corinthians 4:7

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that

this all-surpassing power is from GOD and not from us."

Radicalized ...what next?

If you're out there, I want to introduce you to someone I haven't met and can't remember how we found each other.  Our common God-thread is that we were both led to Katie Davis' blog 9 months ago,(followed by smaller details that we are both from AL and will be traveling to Uganda in July-not together).  It seems that we both have been crying out to God to be stripped of our ideas about contentment & an American future, and to be able to hear & see His plans for us (for life on this Earth), and to have the courage & strength to say, "Yes, Lord".  Go over to Compass In My Heart and read about the beginnning of her journey to James 1:27.  Christie is on fire for Jesus, and she is an inspiration to me.  After you check her out, you've got to share with others and sign up for her GIVEAWAY, read about it HERE.  It's for a signed copy, woo hoo!!  I'm in the middle of Radical now, and David Platt is "ringing my cell phone" (Pastor Kevinism) asking the following (excerpt):

     But where in the Bible is missions ever identified as an optional program in the church?  We have just seen that we were all created by God, saved from our sins, and blessed by God to make his glory known in all the world.  Indeed, Jesus himself has not merely called us to go to all nations; he has created us and commanded us to go to all nations.  We have taken this command, though, and reduced it to a calling---something that only a few people receive.

     I find it interesting that we don't do this with other words from Jesus.  We take Jesus' command in Matthew 28 to make disciples of all nations, and we say, "That means other people."  But we look at Jesus' command in Matthew 11:28, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest," and we say, "Now that means me."  We take Jesus' promise in Acts 1:8 that the Spirit will lead us to the ends of the earth, and we say "That means some people." But we take Jesus' promise in John 10:10 that we will have abundant life, and we say, "That means me."

     In the process we have unnecessarily (and unbiblically) drawn a line of distinction, assigning the obligations of Christianity to a few while keeping the privileges of Christianity for us all.  In this way we choose to send off other people to carry out the global purpose of Christianity while the rest of us sit back because we're "just not called to that."

This hits me right between the eyes.  A mission trip as a teenager, volunteering at VBS all my life, having a monthly donation automatically debited from my account each month, this is not what He asks of me.  And no, I'm not suggesting that we all pick up and move to Africa (although it is a possibility we can't take off the table ;).  The answer is going to be different for each of us.  But I know the answer for each of us isn't going to be EASY.  I know Jesus didn't say, "Receive my gift of Salvation, Live for me, find a good church, go twice a week, sign-up for lots of activities, do what fits in your kids' schedules, do the latest Beth Moore bible study, cook a meal for someone, hold on tight & grit your teeth through trials, and try to stay as comfortable as possible until I return." 

Now please hear me, some of these things (I've done some with my heart in the right place & others (if I'm being honest) were checking the box or out of tradition) are absolutely serving the Lord, if led by the Holy Spirit.  But if I really read and study the words of Jesus (as I've only begun to do in the last year or so) are these things an obedient response to what He has for us? The answer for me has been, no.  We can't pick & choose which parts of God's word are for us.  I fear we've been holding out our hands, saying we surrender it all to God, and want Him to "give us the desires of our heart", BUT with our fists closed.  We don't have our hands open so that He can place His desires in our hearts, and they then become "our" desires.  I was satisfied with my traditional church going, Bible-believing, craftily serving existence UNTIL not quite 2 yrs ago when  I began praying "that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, would give me the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that I might know Him better."(Eph 1:17)  I encourage anyone who desires a closer walk with Jesus to pray the same. We don't have to wonder on this one...it's definately His will for us and He will give.  Warning: the first thing His wisdom revealed to me was that I had deep "middle layers of the onion junk" in my marriage that must be given to Him and dealt with before He could use me.  But let me encourage you, once we both prayed for death to self, and to be filled with the Spirit (cause without the Spirit we were without any power to make better choices, stop bad habits, end a hopeless cycle of bickering on OUR OWN) we had some new victories for the first time in 11 years of marriage.  Still not sure about what God has placed on the heart of David Platt, watch this (pause my playlist at the bottom first :):

RADICAL from David Platt on Vimeo.

For some your "RADICAL" will be going, for others it will be sacrificially giving so that others may go.  If you are lead to give, please click DONATE to give directly to Christie's Paypal account.  Christie took a leap of faith on her plane ticket for July and you may be part of God's provision.  Thank you for stopping by.

Counting My Blessings

And Naming Them One by One!

After beginning our story & sharing our hearts for adoption

 this weekend I'm being still and taking stock.

These are the three little lives we have been blessed with so far.

It's an adventure full of laughter & love.

Oh, and there's the occasional hitting, squealing (courtesy of Miss Lulu) and tattling.

Like today on the drive to Atlanta, in the back of a sedan,

All 3 of them were side by side in close quarters.

Their price to pay for "our" saving on Fuel Economy

and our price was our temporary sanity.

Thank Goodness it's only Temporary,

Followed by more LAUGHTER.

A few months ago we Welcomed SPRING

 courtesy of some of the best Grandparents in the World

 and a wonderful little place called, Callaway Gardens.

After We Said YES to Adoption...

Orphan Sunday at Gardendale's First Baptist Church

My husband said, "Okay, so contact Amani Baby Cottage and let's fill out the application." Elated I ran to get on the web, to finally send an email to the site I'd been staring at for months. A week went by, no response. Tried another email contact, searching for info on facebook, no response. Finally I contacted the second blog author that was pivotal in our journey, GWEN to find out what was going on with ABC. Finally an answer, the word was they weren't taking applications anymore. There was a backlog of waiting adoptive parents in a system with no predictable time lines. This Is AFRICA! Okay, Lord all this momentum, the big drum roll, your confirmation, our resounding YES, and the door closes. What? My passion had to go somewhere, so I began looking for other baby homes in Uganda. 
     The late night Internet monster sucks me in again. Careful sister, you fail the little blessings you already have if you can't hold your eyelids open in the morning, not to mention the nonexistent patience this creates.

That's when several pages into a Google search (those pages we never get to...cause we find what we were looking for)....I found Sonrise Baby Home. Well there's no mention of adoption, but as I had learned many of the baby homes don't advertise "Adoption" on their websites anywhere. You have to ask. So I picked up the phone and called the US contact number...and God took it from there. On the other end of the line was a young woman who could have been ANYwhere in the US, but she just happened to be in Athens, GA only 2 hrs away from me, and her name was Amy Washington (2nd from right above - guest post to come).

This is where God said, HERE, right HERE, I have something for you to do. I had to get you to say 'yes', before I could show you the next step. You can't order a Home study anyway, because you don't know how long Jeremy will be working here, and you don't even know which state you'll be living in...so yes, you've got to WAIT AGAAAIN. As Joyce Meyer loves to say, if you don't get the lesson the first time, the second time, you can just keep going around that mountain for 40 yrs. Lord, I want to get my lesson right now! :)

 From that one conversation with Amy Washington, the Lord aligned some crazy events and scheduling: childcare for 3 kids, husband working night shift, 5:30am departure for Gardendale, AL, cancelled days of camping trip for 4 GA girls who'd never met me, meeting at the first ever Orphan Sunday emphasis at Gardendale's First Baptist Church (my precious church before moving to GA). From that divine appointment God called 3 families to sponsor the children of Sonrise Baby Home, and Jeremy and I saw where God wants us to focus our ministry in this world. It was an insane 48 hrs. My precious family (parents & sister) who kept my kids must have thought I had lost my mind. And yet, as I drove those 3 hours early that Sunday morning, I was filled with unspeakable PEACE, belting out praise songs (family thankful I was solo :) the whole way, that can only be described as the beauty of the center of His will, if only for a day, until I lose my focus and take my eyes off Jesus. But oh how my hearts goal is to recognize this shift back to self quicker each time and stay right there in the palm of His hand.

In the months that followed, we read God's word, and the books 'Crazy Love' and 'The Hole in Our Gospel'. God began convicting us about our finances, lighting a fire under us, a new motivation of grateful hearts for serving Jesus with everything ...holding nothing back ... in a way we'd only heard others share about . . . but never had any lasting success in doing ourselves. We'd always been obedient tithers but never giving above & beyond, and always accumulating some debt each year only to get caught up at tax return time. Why did we never get ahead? And yet, when the scales fell from my eyes regarding the orphan crisis (not as it I'd never heard about it before) I couldn't explain why I saw every dollar and every purchase differently. It was a work from within, because we know these facts . . I can remember "for $1/day you can save a child" from the time I was old enough to read and watch television in the 80s. Nothing was different about these facts, but my heart was different. Our changed hearts were answering the call to Adoption, and that "Yes" led us to Sonrise . . . who isn't ready to adopt children just yet . . . but God showed us where our financial resources and our very hands, feet, & mouths could be used for His glory to answer his call to "visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world. "James 1:27

 We will be flying to Jinja, Uganda in July to work at Sonrise Baby Home, but more importantly to be obedient to God's call and to find out what on earth He has for us in Uganda! The name Uganda never came out of my mouth before reading Katie's blog less than a year ago. And now I plan to adopt 2 children from there, and oh while I'm waiting I'm going there to get my hands dirty and love and give, now that is nothing short of God. I can't even explain it to my own family, it's God, His plan, His funding (that's a story for a future post).

Everything But An AUDIBLE...now what?

After months of tears, searching God's word, prayers, and beginning to think I'd lost my mind and slipped into some alternate universe of Adoption Obsessed Blog Stalkers...my husband led us in prayer. We surrendered our plans again, telling the Lord that we were open to whatever He has for us, and if all these thoughts and unexplainable longings for Uganda were of Him, then we are saying "YES". You see in the past 2-3 years we had daydreamed, I call it God-dreaming (all my BIG crazy, earthly impossible thoughts that can only ever be, if it's HIS) about being full-time foster parents like for Winshape Homes, adopting older children "one day". We told the Lord that we felt strongly He was directing us to adopt from Uganda, stepping out on faith with not a dollar to begin the process, our belief anchored by the untold blog testimonies of God's provision of the funds for what He favors and calls us to do. But yes, being the second-guessing, comfort clinging, "I didn't REALLY hear you say THAT did I?" children that we are...we begged for confirmation. After "Amen"...I opened the daily devotional magazine (The Word for Today) I had on my lap, this was in early October and it opened to a future date of Nov. 28th and this is what we read.

 [Leap of FAITH 1] "It takes courage to make a difference, especially when you can't see a way to do it. When he was in Africa, David Livingstone received a letter saying, 'We want to send helpers. Have yopu found a good road into your area yet?' Livingstone wrote back, 'If they only want to come when there's a good road, don't send them. I want people who'll come when there's no road!' Surrounded by 5,000 hungry people, Jesus told his disciples, 'You give them something to eat.' It seemed impossible, but when they obeyed they witnessed a miracle. One writer says, 'Christ will lead you into seemingly impossible situations...don't avoid them. That's where you'll experience God...If you attempt only things you know are possible wtih the resources you possess...you'll receive the credit and God will have no part in it...Have you received a word that awaits your next step of faith? Proceed, no matter how incredible it seems. You'll experience the joy of seeing God perform a miracle, and so will those around you."

We sat staring at each other, my mouth gaping open, tear running down my cheeks, and my dear husband said, "Well honey, if you're waiting on an audible, I'm NOT! I hear the Lord loud and clear we are going to adopt." I still sat there in shock, somewhat dumbfounded. After weeks of brokenness, praying that God would speak to my husband in a way that would be so profound, there would be no ME trying to LEAD my husband to adoption (we all know that never works), He answered. After praying to have any notion that this was some concocted idea of mine, some attempt of my flesh to serve the Lord out of owing Him, removed from me, I sat. Desiring to know that this was in fact the Holy Spirit moving us, calling us, I sat wondering, "Now what?" Jeremy looked at me and said, "Get the application from Amani and let's get started."

How We Got to the EDGE....

of the BOAT. About 9 months ago, I received an email requesting donations for a mission trip. Nothing out of the ordinary for a church-going mommy like me (we're always collecting for something, right?). After sitting in my inbox for 2 wks, I opened it to find a link to a blog, not just any blog, but KATIE's blog. I'd never read a blog in my life. This one was the turning point in my & my husband's life. God began using Katie's words, her testimony to cut to the marrow, the very center of our walk with Christ. What are we living for? What are we waiting on? What did Jesus say? I say I believe the Bible is God's Holy Word, written to instruct us through life in this world, well do I live like I believe it?

After reading Katie's recent posts at the time, I went back to the beginning of Katie's blog and read the whole thing. It made me search God's word and reflect on what it means for our lives, in a way I'd wanted to for years and never had the follow-through. How does this young woman surrender in this way? Can I, a mom of 3, living in the comfort of American domesticity have that kind of walk with Christ? Our stuff and self-sufficiency has ruined us from being desperate for Jesus on a daily basis. We're only desperate for God when we are in a crisis. Then we hit our knees, read our Bibles more, searching for encouragement, begging for help. I know this all too well, all my real growth up until now has been in a crisis. This is what we choose instead of abiding.

"Anyone who goes too far and does not abide in the teaching of Christ, does not have God; the one who abides in the teaching, he has both the Father and the Son." 2 John 1:9

We all know:

"I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing." John 15:5

Instead of daily communication we reach out to God most often in our struggles to deal with the pain of this world. How many friends would we keep if the ONLY time we ever heard from them was when they were on the side of the road, had lost a family member, or were facing a horrible diagnosis? Never a call to chat, catch up, share a meal, their family, or a visit: How close would we be? Now leading up to Katie's blog, I knew these things. I've known since I gave my heart to Jesus at age 9 that I should be reading my Bible daily. But after a good 10+ years of married life and seasons of closeness and huge spans of mediocrity and growth through canned Bible studies...there HAD to be MORE. After years of telling my self I'm failing and I can't be used until I'm doing "x, y & z" (total legalism), I began to learn about what it means to die to self. Asking the Holy Spirit, to fill me as I get myself and my thoughts & desires out of the way, so that He can work through me to be the wife He's called me to be, and to love, nurture, teach, and raise my children to fulfill His plan for their lives. Now I'm just learning this ... still a mess most days, still mess up, still fall apart, still get down at times (okay more times than I'd like to admit), but I know those thoughts are a LIE from the enemy and Hallelujah I have a Savior who picks me up again each day, if I'll only give it to HIM and quick trying to do it on my own.


It's too easy for us to "solve" our own problems. This coming from a woman, who epitomizes an overdose of "Girl-Power" preaching in the 90s. I'm the first one to jump when someone says,"You can't do that". Male dominated field of engineering . . . highschool teacher who said, "Don't major in anything that requires Physics" . . .Yep, I'm the nut who picked Electrical Engineering and made it through in 5 years (well, the teacher was right about that part, couple of redos in there :) Three years in a "real job" using my precious degree and then onto the REAL challenges of motherhood, and now a universe I would've laughed at had you told me I'd ever be Homeschooling. Am I a mom who's just a natural, who can never leave her babies, who is totally organized and on top of homeschooling? That would be a big fat NO. But all of these experiences have and are still bringing me to the end of myself. That doesn't sound all that exciting or desireable ...but oh how it is. You see at the end of myself, is where real abundant living in Christ Jesus begins. Yes, I've been saved and going to Heaven since I was 9. But enjoying my life as His adopted daughter, moving beyond His gift of salvation, to a totally surrendered life of adventure following His plans, it's been a moving target . . but we're getting there as we Step Out of the Boat and fix our eyes on JESUS.