Fingerprints, Papers and LOVE! oh my....

The HOME STUDY is ON!!!

(and I feel like a kid at Christmas)

I try to temper my excitement, my head knows that this is the first 20 seconds of a marathon, but I can't contain my JOY!

I just can't express what it means to be putting one foot in front of the other on the path to my children.  I was looking back through old emails, and found that yes it was September of 2009 when I first started contacting Agencies and Baby Homes in an attempt to knock on a bunch of doors and see if God was waiting to swing one of them wide open.  When you are yielding to God in a HUGE way for the first time in your life by choice, not because a life circumstance has jolted you off course demanding dependence on God . . . you do lots more questioning and second guessing of what you've heard and what you are doing.

 [when I read back over this post, i realized whoa it's about to take a totally different direction than I expected....my thoughts just poured out, so hang in there with me] 

I'm a deep thinker, I ponder alot in this little head of mine [well truthfully it's a bit large -hat size larger than hubby, with a high forehead to match, haha].  And if you are reading this, can I just say "you CAN'T ask a question I haven't asked."  How did our yielding to Christ, lead to adoption?  Well, it started with focusing on the Bible.  What did Christ say?  What did He mean?  In Matthew 6:9-34 Jesus gives us instruction on prayer, forgiveness, fasting, priorities in this life, the focus of our life (what are we investing our time in), having faith in God as our provider, and seeking first His kingdom and the peace that follows that decision.

What does it mean to live out this life in Christ?  Can't I just accept Jesus as Lord and Savior and then blend right on in with the rest of the world and go about getting an education, starting a career, getting married, and having my 2.5 kids if lucky and then staying as comfortable as possible until I die? Because really let's admit it...we have churches full of God-fearing people (I used to be one) who accepted the gift of Christ, realized that He is our salvation and are just hanging out legalistically checking some boxes of service and giving back, satisfied just to know they have the equivalence of a life insurance policy to cash in one day guaranteeing entrance to Heaven.  No matter how old or young we were are, no matter what stage of life we are in when we accept Christ as Savior, that is just the beginning of life in Christ.  That is, the abundant life God designed for us to have in Christ [John10:10].  I've learned that the life Jesus spoke of, isn't the one we wait for when one fine day our time on this earth is done and we are rewarded with a new body in a place of no more pain and suffering.  That part is true, but it's starts now.  [John 15:1-17] I've known these verses about the vine & the branches since I was a kid.  And I've heard that I must "abide" or "remain" in Christ...but I've struggled my whole life as a believer to be able to live that out with any authenticity or confidence that I was doing it right.  Oooh, there's that legalism phrase, "doing it right"...that's just it we can't do it, not in our own strength or smarts. [Trust this type A, over achiever, firstborn- been there done that] What we can do is surrender to Christ every day, yes each morning anew, letting Him know that we want to die to our own way of thinking, to die to self, to get US out of the way so He can live through us. [2 Cor.4:11] [Reading that last sentence over, it sounds like a bunch of Christianese, which Lord knows when you've heard it all your life it's hard to stay clear of] In reality for me, that meant admitting to God that I wasn't smart enough to solve my problems, didn't have enough will power to be a better wife, mom or daughter, and didn't have the strength to follow him in obedience.  The power to do any of that comes from Christ in me.  Christ in me, has the power to respond differently.  Oh man, and now does this verse take on a whole new meaning....

2 Corinthians 12:9-10     But he said to me, "My grace if sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.

  

 How do we get us and our thinking out of the way?  We spend time in God's word being transformed by the renewing of our mind [Romans 12:2].  Okay, okay so I've known the "Sunday school answer" of spending time in God's word as the method of doing this.  So why after 25 years of being "saved" am I just now thirsty enough to put some action to it??  I don't know, I was finally at the true end of me [a slow journey starting about 5-years ago] and realized there had to be more to the Christian life.  I got a glimpse of what Christ could do in me, to change me, to give me victory in areas that had beaten me up for years, when I finally gave up control and "trying".

     If we aren't actively pursuing Christ, wanting just to know God our heavenly Father more and more, we are missing it.  I was missing it.  Don't miss it. 

 [detour over, if you're still reading :)]

So when you start drawing close to God, and spending time reading His word, He begins to give you the desires of your heart.  New ones, desires that come from the center of His will if we are yielding.  So back to all my questions...Is God really the one awakening us to the orphan crisis? [James 1:27] Is this just my idea to help someone? [Matthew 25:31-40] Is this message for all of us?  What are we waiting for?  Is this really the best idea for my family?  How do you know if just giving money isn't enough?  That's somebody's part to play, right?  For believers, we know that there are many parts to the Body of Christ and we are all one of the parts that works together.  Well why can't I just be a prayer? 

 That's a part of participating in loving and caring for orphans, isn't it?  Well if praying is my assigned task, then what are the unique criteria for those who are actually supposed to ADOPT children?  Oh is that only for those who have infertility challenges?  Yea, I don't find that in my Bible.  Somehow I don't think the numbers work out on that for the 147 million + orphans in our world.

I can honestly say after a year and a half of waiting, I've never been more sure of anything.  And while there have been many tears in the wait, I can now rest in knowing that it was to grow me, to change me, to challenge me, so that I would be this sure of what God has planned for my family.   It was to get me to the place where's God's opinion is the only one I care about.  And can I just say, that THIS PLACE (where I've never been before) holds more peace than I have ever fathomed.  It is a peace and assurance that can only come from my Creator, and it isn't rattled by the day to day reminders of my imperfections.  This extended WAIT was to get me to the place where I no longer look to any other person for assurance that I'm "doing the right thing."  This is no small feat for a first born type A people person.  It has also been a season for bringing my husband and I together in strength.  After God, His opinion is the only one that matters.  The fact that all my prayers about He and I being on the same page have been answered and He is leading the charge through this adoption process is such a blessing that brings more peace regarding our adoption of two more children into our family. 

We are expecting our referrals any Day now...my heart is going to ExPLoDe!!

Crazies to the Doctor

The Johnson Crew is officially in the Home Study RACE!!! 
 Siblings we are racing to YOU both!!



Getting our medical reports completed was a FAMILY AFFAIR.

Since we just moved to this community days before Christmas, everything we do on our adoption journey seems to be pioneering.  As the doctor entered our room he said, "Oh 'THE FAMILY' is here.  Are these your kids?  And you are adopting HOW MANY?"  We smiled and answered and as the visit progressed everyone warmed up to us.  Thank the Lord we have been blessed with really good kids (at least at the doctor's office :)jk) so we gain their respect after awhile. Of course I had to go through the whole painful gamut of WHY our little two are on a delayed vaccination schedule....Ugh.  This gets old after awhile.  But it's worth it.  This office of 10,000 patients has never had any kids on delayed vacs (very surprising).  So after a little while we didn't seem to have 3 heads anymore. :)

The leader of our tribe, getting blood pressure checked and confirming (what we thought) that anything Adoption related is NOT covered under our Health plan.  Fortunately we all get one annual physical/well visit and we were due. :)



ALL smiles in the beginning waiting to see the doctor.


We were there a LONG time.  You know what happens, we were SO PAST what should have been NAPTIME and they started going crazy in that one little room.

Shortly after this shot....it was time for shots. 

 Just making our way along the "catch-up" list while we were there. 

Lucy cried after the sting.....Isaiah wailed before.

Oh this Momma's nerves...but all worth it in the end.

Everyone Welcome the Johnson Family!! :)

How is it that a little ole SUCKER makes everything better?

So thankful for SUGAR and SMILING Children once again.

We wait on TB & HIV test results and then we are notarized and out the door. 

"Van of Dreams"

So, yes, I am referencing the movie Field of Dreams.

The famous line we all remember. . . "if you build it, they will come."

Except this story is about adoption, a God dream, a new storyline in the life of the Johnson family. A new journey of faith, that God is so lovingly leading us down.

In our case the promise is this, "If you buy it, they will come!"

[This was my very FIRST post, written 12/01/2009 and never published until NOW]

God has provided an unbelievably great van at an unbelievable price in the way that's all Him. My sweet husband Jeremy, that we've always joked was destined to be a used car salesman (our life has been a revolving door of used cars at times), has been looking at diesel vans for over a year. Why? We didn't know. As the last 4 months have unfolded with God doing a new work in our marriage and in our hearts, we have an answer.

Jeremy has been looking for a van, for us, for our family that God is about to grow through the miracle of adoption. Now we had no intentions of getting the cart before the horse, literally. As the ideas of adoption & orphan ministry in general take root in your heart, you quickly become aware of every penny that passes through your hands.

[UPDATE: FEBRUARY 2011]

After driving our "Van of Dreams" around for over a year now....we lovingly refer to it as our "BIG Red Loaf of Bread"  (yes there's some southern slang for you).  There have been many days, carting my 3 kids around in our mini church van, that I have wondered what am I doing?  God did we hear you right?  Are we EVER going to be able to adopt?  Is the joke on us?  AND then there have been other days when the enemy would have me believe that the joke was on me, and that I was kidding myself with this crazy dream.  On those hard days my Beautiful Van was literally a physical promise of what God is going to do.   And then I could go another day, waiting, trusting that Yes, in His time He would fill my van with more children. 

So, now that we are begining our homestudy...I announce the start of the marathon.  As I reflect on what the past 2 weeks have meant to me, I celebrate my big obnoxious red van.  If you are reading this I ask for your prayers for our family, for the precious children that we long to hold in our arms, for those who are caring for them in Uganda, and for the surviving members of their birth families.  May God be glorified as we run the race He has set before us, each and every day until He calls us home.