Nothing in Return

got your attention?  Well, something grabbed my attention, more like seized my heart this morning when my husband and I had a moment.  We were in the throws of communication challenges with our oldest daughter.  And by that, I mean, she shuts down.  So we are trying to as simply and lovingly as possible let her know we want her to talk to us, to tell us why she's upset, and reassure her that no matter what she says (i.e. I'm mad at Mommy/Daddy) she will not be in trouble.  Insert 1 month, of her clearly communicating and effectively tattlling and telling all sorts of things in such a way that lead us to believe she understood alot more than she actually does.  Believing she understood so much more, (when sorting through sibling dissagreements and who hurt whom, and who started what and who is being purposefully mean) and based on her clear answers there was a lot more frustration and discipline handed out over the last month than there should have been.  We are not perfect, we never were.  We are going to make just as many mistakes with our adoptive children and then some than we did and still do with our bio children.  I used to always think in other situations, this is too hard, shouldn't God's will for our lives feel good? be easier than this?...kind of like the image we have in our heads of how great the careers are of those who are actually doing what they love to do.  But the Lord shows us otherwise.....we are called to walk in the sufferings of Christ, as he refines us, as we grow in our relationship with him..... He shows me here (these verses are from the Message):

Luke 9:23  Then he told them what they could expect for themselves: "Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat—I am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you?   

Peter 4:1 [ Learn to Think Like Him ] Since Jesus went through everything you're going through and more, learn to think like him. Think of your sufferings as a weaning from that old sinful habit of always expecting to get your own way. Then you'll be able to live out your days free to pursue what God wants instead of being tyrannized by what you want.

Fortunately, I have learned just a bit of the truth of these scriptures, and we didn't enter into this calling without understanding that it was going to be hard.  However that doesn't mean that there aren't going to be hard lessons, greater truths exposed in our lives as we walk this beautiful winding and yes, sometimes painful path that the Lord is using for His glory (now, I don't imagine much is glorifying these days, but that is the goal...our heart's desire, that something of our mess will glorify God even if He is the only one who sees).

So our peaceful chat began and ended calmly and quickly with a refusal to talk.  Mom (that's me) quietly exited stage left in tears (upon Dad's que) and waited.  He then placed her in his arms like a baby (he later shared), and tried once again to break through and he had success.  No real answers to the questions we were asking, but answering something and talking. YES!! We praised profusely.  Inside I'm thinking, but we got no where, I know no more than I did an hour ago about WHY she was mad.  But this is the hole I dug, by being too reactionary for the last month, and the undoing/redoing only started 2 days ago, so it's going to take time.  It's going to be a very slow process.   And yes, in a perfect world I would've had more training, read more books, and been pychologically educated on all these matters...but that is just not reality for a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom of 3...and that is what and who I was when God chose to place this calling on our hearts with a blaze.  So I move forward, I regroup, I pray for wisdom from my heavenly Father...finding peace that this is His plan, He loves each of my children more than me, all FIVE of them, and He's not going to let me screw this up.  He is sovereign.  I must continue to Yield, Yield anew each day to His promptings, to respond in selfless love, a kind of love that we don't naturally overflow with, the kind that only comes from Jesus Christ.  I don't have that kind of love to give, unless I receive it first from Christ.

When my husband brought my daughter in to share a few words that she had spoken to him, we praised and then he and I had a moment to reflect on what just happened.  I said, we had such a beautiful day of total love yesterday (Sat.), no one had to go in timeout, lots of cuddling and pampering, pedicures by Mom for the girls (whew), and I can't expect it to be mended overnight.   He said, "We've got to earn her trust again, not that we lost it all, but we've got to earn it in a deeper way." 
...
...
And then I shared that I struggle with keeping that emotional energy there throughout my day.  It breaks you down to keep pouring into these challenging exchanges when your child can communicate, but just refuses to.  And then I said it. 

"It is so hard when someone is making demands all day long, every day and you get nothing in return."  And my husband looked into my eyes and the realization came across his and my face at the same time....
He said, "we are getting a small taste..." And I said "Stop, stop, don't say anymore!"  Tears flowed. 

In my heart I realized that this, this pain, is but a taste of what I, we, put God through EVERY day.  Isn't that a picture of our prayer lives, our relationship with God?  We pray, and ask and beg and plead, and DEMAND help of him ALL THE TIME...and we give him Nothing in Return. 

Oh the lessons we learn, how God regroups us, redirects us, even at home on a Sunday.  I want to be at my church, enjoying corporate worship, but the time is not yet.  So as I prepare for home church, while we are bonding with our new additions, I will ponder anew the priviledge I have been given to love, to be loved, to be pruned, to learn more of my Father's unfailing love on this path He has set before us.  So grateful that we said yes, when it would've been much easier to say no.  Even in these hard phases it is worth it, right now.  I can only be filled with hope for all that the Lord is going to restore, and all the beauty that will come from these ashes.

^(F)And not only this, but also ourselves, having ^(G)the first fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves ^(H)groan within ourselves, ^(I)waiting eagerly for our adoption as sons, ^(J)the redemption of our body. ²⁴ For ^(K)in hope we have been saved, but ^(L)hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees? ²⁵ But ^(M)if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it.      

Romans 8:23

 

Here's some of our more beautiful moments....there in there....it's like a roller coaster up and down...and all worth it.

 

Taken by our #2 Son, Isaiah :)

Nuluu, Isaiah, Lucy & Freddie...

getting their Toby Mac groove on!!

We Are Home!!!

We arrived miraculously home on the night of July 18th.  So we have now been settling in for a bit over a week.  And yes, it has taken me that long to come up for air and find a moment to blog. 

I feel like I need a shirt that says, "I live for laundry, I mean love."

 Yes, If it kills me I WILL be going back in time and sharing many of the details of my 3 and a half week journey of adoption in Uganda.  For now dear friends...enjoy these photos taken by our dear friend and travel companion (who helped me with the kids and coming home without hubbie).  Thank you Katie Rae!!

I can't say enough about the power of prayer during our time in Uganda...for that matter starting with the miraculous answer to prayer that happened only FIVE DAYS before we departed when we got news of our court date.  The intensity and excitement of that week, really never subsided as our faith journey crossed the ocean and moved to the continent of Africa.  That 5 days notice, was just foreshadowing of the events and miraculous timelines that would unfold in Uganda. 

The good news is we were granted Legal Guardianship of our daughter and son and we are now home safely building our new relationships and knitting our now larger family tightly together....one moment at a time. 

Okay, off to bed... first night up past 10pm for this former nightowl, now completely cured.  Who knew?  All it took was becoming the mother of five :)

Meet My Son, Freddie

Meet My Nuluu

No matter the age, they all just long for arms to hold them. 

Me and Katie Rae

Me and Damali (Director of Sonrise Baby Home)



overdue Update

First of all I'm so sorry for not updating more. So much has been happening that it's been impossible to condense and if you know me, you are laughing right now....cause I can't condense anyway to save my own life. ha! So, let's see we met two of the surviving relatives of both of our children on day 2, our first morning waking up with the kiddos. I was like Wow! Lord!  This is intense from our first morning waking up in Uganda.  It is all on video for our children to have one day.  This precious time documenting family history was such a blessing and a gift.



Later that day I had my first true market experience in Jinja. I never made it to the market last year. Nulu wanted to go with Momma, so she walked right with me all the way as we went along from stand to stand, weaving our way through the maze of alleys and pathways to some of the most fresh and delicious produce. If only I had a cold jar of Kraft mayo I would be buying cucumbers and tomatoes for a sandwich.


Okay this is my next attempt at blogging, after beginning this one ohhh two weeks ago. To say that life here in Uganda has been overwhelming (but in a good way) is an understatement. Now I understand once again (like last year) why many people can't keep it up, when they are in Uganda. And just like at home, parenting my two here is just as busy as my 3 back in the states. Except for their ages (3 & 5) they are discovering and experimenting and getting into all kinds of new things more like 2 year olds.


So after our first weekend in Jinja, Uganda, we were able to visit the village homes of our children. It was a really good day but an intense day. I had really wanted the Lord to give me confirmation that this is the best plan for the two children that He has chosen for our family. Just like all people all around us in our lives in the US or our friends in third world countries...there is pain and suffering all around us, and no one's story is simple. So the stories of our children's extended families isn't simple either. I have no doubt, that we are exactly where the Lord wants us this day. I have no doubt that we have been chosen to be the forever family for F and N and that they will fit in our family like missing puzzle pieces. And yet, as I have blogged about before, there is great loss in adoption. My feelings and emotions (which is why I can't trust them) have gotten so complicated when I see the special gifts and personalities of my children and how they have effected the children's home where they have been raised the last two years. It hurts when I see the unique role they have played in the orphan home dynamic and think about the void that will be left in their absence. Don't get me wrong, I keep finding peace in knowing that God has a special plan for my daughter and son, and that is why out of all the children he could have called us to be Mommy and Daddy to, he chose N and F. I am just sharing my mix of thoughts, because this is reality, and I want to be real about what it looks like to adopt an older child that is not an infant or young toddler, one who has relationships and true friendships. So there are tears at times....times that reveal just a glimpse, just a hint of unknown future pains. Even after I voice my concerns...the Lord whispers to my heart, this is the path I have for you, just walk in it one day at a time, it is a plan for good. Not a pain free path mind you, but one that He will use for the ultimate good and to glorify his name.


These thoughts I am sharing are not in chronological order of my last two weeks. These are experiences that have emerged slowly over all our time here.


So, after our village visits and lots of documenting for our children. We have had the pleasure of meeting the Sonrise Children's Choir...another outreach ministry of the Sonrise Community Church, pastored by Ivan Mukulu. He is also the director and patriarch of the Sonrise Children's Home. All I can say is the Lord has placed a passion in my heart for the children of the choir...not only are they working so hard to sing and dance and perfect their worshipful song to share with the world...but they have hearts for the Lord that come out of the most humble and devastating testimonies of suffering. I will be sharing their stories one by one in the weeks to come. And yes, that means I will be sharing with the hope that the Holy Spirit will call others to join with us in supporting these precious children. Pastor Ivan has a beautiful long term vision for the Children's Choir that I can't wait to share with you. These children, most with no resources for an education, or even daily food, will demand your attention as they offer up through their gifts the most pure and precious worship of our Lord and King Jesus. Once again my time in Uganda is humbling...and it is the reminder I want to be ever present that there is so much more to be done...there are brothers and sisters in Christ suffering and even more so the lost of the world who have not yet experienced the love of Christ. We can not get complacent. I beg you, get out of your comfort zone and go on a mission trip. Yes, it is true, it will change your life...but the bigger question is, will it effect eternity for you?


Court Update:


We went to court on our assigned Friday. We waiting for about 3 hours and then got to sit in on about 1.5 hours of someone else's ruling. The case in front of us was going to be heard for the remainder of the evening until 7pm, so we were asked to return Monday July 4th, at no particular time. Hmmm, interesting. We returned to Jinja, about 2-3 hours away late that Friday night. Spent Saturday recouping. Worshipped at Sonrise on Sunday, and then packed up a Matatu (van) again with all our court clothes and the surviving relatives of our children, and our friends and their boys and headed back to Kampala. It was a late night. After finding a hotel in the capital city...our dear friend Josh departed for the Entebbe airport. We had all made it to the IOM for our children's visa medical exams on Friday (hallelujah!) and then HAD to return on Monday for the 3 day TB skin test. Since our Judge didn't specify a time, our attorney said to go on to the medical check up. We did and were out of there, by 10:20am. We then went straight the the court house, arriving at 11am. We hung out in the waiting room all day long. They had rows of attached chairs, just like a doctor's office or the airport. After our 1st experience on the previous Friday, we decided not to put on our court clothes until we got to court. Well, we had hoped to find a restroom on a different floor of the same building just not the one right past the judge's chambers...well no such luck, so we sprinted past his door as not to be spotted in our Uganda dirt covered threads. We rushed (which is really funny considering how long we wait) to get dressed, we forgot F's socks...um go with his sandals...we are already in outfit #2, cause we wore #1 on our first appearance. By the way, did I mention that there is no A/C. Not complaining...it just helps to understand what all this rushing looks like with hubby in a full suit and tie, same with our son in a sport coat...looked so handsome BTW, but probably on the verge of heat exhaustion (j/k). So we are set, my stomach is doing backflips, and I am frantically looking over my Luganda (most common Uganda dialect in the region where we are) word cards (God bless you Marci Miller- you will never know how much I used what you created...my 5yo daughter gets them out everyday and names everyone :). Lunch time comes and goes, but we are too afraid to get up...the Judge could call us in at any moment. The children color (thank you Emily), draw, run around the room, eat packed cheez-its and drink lots of water and ultimately get lots of orange dirt stains all over their fancy clothes. By the time we got called into our actual hearing at 6:30pm...yes you are reading that right...I could care less about our clothes anymore. I really should fill in all the ups and downs and emotional moments during those 7 hours of waiting....needless to say there were many moments of intense praying as the day progressed. And yes, that entire day was spent in that one waiting room (and going up and down the hall to susu (potty)), with all 13 people that were apart of our witnesses (including us and the kids). I said many times, you can't explain this to folks unless we were all wearing helmet cameras. During our hearing the Lord's presence was sooooo evident as the questioning took twists and turns that revealed a glimpse again of God's greater plan and what He is at work doing that was much bigger than even our family's legal guardianshp case. So much to share one day, when this phase of our journey is complete.


I must go to sleep, it's 12:42 am the latest I've been up here....can you tell I'm missing my husband?. Pl ease pray for me to stop any feeble attempts to be in control, when I so clearly am completely out of any control of my current life circumstances. Pray for me to rest in Christ, as I repent of any fleshly attempts of the day to maintain control. Please pray for my children here with me, and wisdom for me as I navigate treacherous unchartered waters of love and discipline and the blurry line between them.


The spiritual warfare increases yet again, as the day of decision for our family draws near. I am weak. Psalm 61:1-5


Love,


Mandi

Day 1 - Travel & Arriving in Uganda

Today was a day like no other. It started with a blessed experience in the London airport and a flight where unlike last year, I was actually able to sleep. During our 11 hr layover I remembered these 5 leather couches in the middle of the terminal...and sure enough they were all occupied by sleeping passengers when we first scoped them out. I was chatting away (surpise) when Katie Rae who was facing the crowd, saw someone making a move and bolted for the couch. That one simple couch gave all 3 of us some much needed rest, as we took turns over the next 9 hours. On our final flight from London to Entebbe, I woke up with 1 hr 30 min remaining until we landed. I turned on some music and just became completely overwhelmed with the feelings and knowledge of walking through an answered prayer that has been on our hearts for almost 2 years. I worshipped the Lord right there on the plane with a grateful heart for all He has done and is doing through our adoption of Fred and Nulu.



Our faith has been stetched and grown so much during this time. After we arrived at the Entebbe Airport we found a shuttle driver waiting for us (we were 30 min late). He was holding a sign that made us laugh. It said, Mandi Johnson (x2 pass) and underneath it read:

(Wiz a lot of luggage)

 tee hee

We had 10 total. We made it to the guest house where Kim and Josh spent Thursday night and freshened up while we waited to be picked up by all the beautiful people who run Sonrise Baby Home. We had no idea if ours or Josh and Kim's children would be coming with them to pick us up. In a little while they arrived.. I looked out the window and saw Rebecca the volunteer mission team director, then I heard Damali's voice. As my gaze fell lower, seeking little people...there they were, Fred and Nulu.


You could tell they had made a long journey, the 3+hrs to reach our location. They also looked blank and scared. I knelt down to hug them, and they were very still and unresponsive. They were very unsure of what was happening. They never travel to meet the numerous teams of mzungus (white people) that visit each summer. They are used to white people coming bringing donations and treats, giving lots of hugs, playing games and then before you know it they are off again.

I knelt down to put my arms around Fred and wasn't there long before I realized he was soaking wet.  Not being used to the long ride, he'd had an accident in his jeans AND spilt water all down his sweatshirt.  So what would have been really uncomfortable turned into an immediate moment to parent and care for our son and meet his needs.  We had new underwear and clothes in our bag and got him all cleaned up and ready to go.  So uncertain, not sure of what each moment would hold....then slowly as we began our 3 hourbouncy ride in the matatu, something began to happen.  Giggles (Fred still has one of the most beautiful laughs in the world) and smiles in the car, having to tell Fred to put his arm back inside the van (he was not happy about this "who were we to tell him what to do :), so the passing cars didn't take it off...that is a reality on the roads of Uganda..no yellow line :).  Next we stopped for lunch, and it was just like a meal with our kids back home, Jeremy and I between them serving their food and cutting their meat.  

I don't even know what was next, but as evening fell it became time for bed time.  They did not resist or seem fearful to be with us.  A volunteer mission team that had been here for 2 weeks was staying in the guest house with us.  They commented that they could see a change in Nulu.  They said she was so happy.  And she stayed right by my side.  Just precious and my daughter has a smile that will light up the world.  She is shy at times, she covers her smile with her hands..but her upturned mouth peeks out and the joy escapes to warm my heart.  We gave them baths and placed them and our friends' boys in the room that was prepared for the 4 of them.  By the end of the day, they were occasionally called us Mama Mandi and Daddy.  They were not sleeping with us, which seemed logical because that is what they are used to.  However the Moody brothers actually gave up minimal crying quickly and drifted off...in a little bit crying was heard and when I saw the grown-ups they said, it was Nulu and it was a pitiful cry.  I went in and got her down and took her to my bed.  Not 10 min later Fred was crying.. I mean come on  we couldn't let the big ones wake up the toddlers.  So Fred got in daddy's bed.  With our 5 days notice before flying over here...they prepared our room with twin beds.  Which worked out great because they can each sleep with one of us.   I'm sorry even with older kids, this is the most important and precious bonding time.  They have never had someone regularly cuddle with them.  Day One ended with another accident (we fed them late, drank too much) but again, precious time to be gentle and meet their needs.  I've never been so grateful for the things we get frustrated with at home.  I must go to bed... all I can say is that Day One doesn't hold a candle to Day 2.  I will write and post as soon as possible. 

This is the Before...

just in case you were wondering what it looks like when you try to pack for 2 adults and 2 children and a possible trip time of a month in owww
FIVE DAYS!!!
I count it a blessing!  God answered our prayers in a profound way...
and then He said, "NOW RUN!!!!" 

No, we do not need that much stuff.  The containers are filled with supplies for the Sonrise Baby Home.

Spent 3 hours, checking and double checking and labeling our paperwork.

It's magnificent but messy, this journey.

This is a look at my night stand, and our children.

This one, is special to my heart.  This is for all who wait with a longing in your heart...wondering is God really saying this to you...is He really planting a completely unexpectedly longing in your heart for adoption.

This dress for my daughter, has been ironed, matching headband hanging with it,

on my curtain rod,

just like this for 2 months.

It was painful to look at sometimes, not knowing when, if ever the next steps in this journey would come...

but other days, it was my symbol of HOPE.

Hope that my daughter would one day wear this to court, to be given a new name, to be grafted into our family..forever.

That day is here.

Love,

Mandi

P.S. I'll do my best to update from London.

Thank you in advance for praying over our whole family...all SEVEN of us :)

God is in control...

of the Madness at my house, Hallelujah!

Just a quick update:  We drive away from our home on Wednesday morning at 10 am.

We fly out of Atlanta on Wednesday night at 9:15pm.

I have 2 days to get it all together...God is strong when I am weak. 

Even though my mind dances across the line of anxiety and and subtle nervous pit in my stomach remains....I reel myself back in..

I shall have no fear. 

 God just moved a Mountain for my Family!!!!

 A MOUNTAIN!! 

He has a plan for this timeline in July and He's not going to let little ole Mandi mess it up. 

One moment, one thought, one step at a time. 

Romans 5:1-5

1 Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; 4 and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; 5 and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

I do not take this lightly...I FEEL your prayers.

Your prayers matter.  They will pray us to Uganda and home again.

Thank you for lifting our growing family up to our Heavenly Father.

It is for the love of Christ that we go.  Pray we are able to share the Gospel.

This is His plan, His story for our family, it is about regeneration.

We are so blessed to be surrounded by your love, support, and prayers.

I am so thankful for the gift in this life, of the Body of Christ.

"Ohhh, How He loves Us!"

MIRACLE answer to Prayer!!!!!

Okay, I should not be on here... Typos beware...no time to do anything.
Here's the lowdown:

6am Jeremy (my hubbie) opens email that says yesterday in court we learned that your case will be heard on July 1st at 230pm.  Jeremy says, "Mandi WAKE UP!"  Dude, I was up and crying after that.  The post sharing with you what I'm feeling and what's happening in my relationship with the Lord leading up to that moment will have to wait for the plane ride...plenty o' time to blog.   not to mention my 11 hr layover in London.

Okay, so If you've been following the J*dges take a break in July, supposedly the 15th, but it's not in stone, they can take off on vacation whenever they like, just like Americans.  Now to size up this miracle...this is happening at the 23rd hour, so there is no other explanation than this was God's timing for our family.  Our dear friends started their adoption process 5 really 6 months before us, and God has caught us up to within a DAY!!! 1 DAY my people!  We go to court 1 day after our friends and fellow parents of Sonrise babies.  These precious children (all 4 of them - and hopefully more one day) will grow up KNOWing each other and sharing a family tree.  Okay I better hurry this up...so the gift on top of all the goodness of this timing for my family is that I get to share this journey, adventure, a month in Ug*nda with my best friend.  It doesn't get any better than that!! God was just showing OUT when He got to that part. 

We had two choices, arrive with 2 days to spend with our kids before court, or.....
DRUMROLL............................
.........................................
My
ONLY
other
Option
Was to arrive the exact same day as our friends & fellow Sonrise adoptive parents.  Tought decision.  :) Yep, when we get there they'll be waking up at the hotel from arriving the night before. 
God is Good. (And yes, I do proclaim that even when He chooses not to bless me this way)

So, that's why I only have 4.5 days now to pack and prepare... our flight leaves June 22nd late evening from Atlanta.  Jeremy will be with me for 2 weeks and then return home to work and be with kids.  I will come, Lord willing 2 weeks later with our son and daughter, bringing all FIVE of our kids together.  But that is all a moving target and only the Lord knows the final timeline. Hallelujah!!

Prayer requests:
for July 1st to be a firm court date

for the j*dge to have a heart for adoption and to rule favorably and swiftly for our family
(please pray all these things for us and the Moody family)

for our children (N and F) to have an unexplainable connection and longing for us, that God has planted in their hearts.

for our children at home (Joel, Isaiah & Lucy) to be at peace, in good health, comforted while  Dad is away 2 wks and Mom a month.

for our parents, the best grandparents in the world, who without their love and support NONE of this would be possible.  We are a picture of, it takes a village.  they will be taking turns with the kids 2 weeks each.  specifically pray for my mom, she is doing better but, she is recovering from sickness that wiped her out (the enemy has gone after all the family). she needs a mighty and swift full recovery to be 100% by the time the children come to her home in 2 weeks, God again will be her healer and He will be right on time. 

for the medical tests, appointments, investigations, all the logistics to go smoothly....but more importantly that we will take each bump in the road in stride, leaving all the details in God's hands...the only place they will be successful.

for us to have time to visit with the extended families of our children.  to invest in learning about their heritage, their family history and stories, their culture, to share our hearts and the love of Christ with them, which is what it is all about. 

Thank you now, for praying over all these things for the next month.  There is nothing more important during this journey than prayer.  As we have seen, crying out in faith and waiting on the Lord, is the only thing that works...no effort of man could have brought us to this point, at THIS time....it just ain't happening.  And it breaks my heart to say it isn't and hasn't happened for many who have been waiting longer than us... Please pray for all the familes who wait to place precious U*gandan orphans in their forever families. 

I must go to bed.  We've packed our oldest for church camp next week.  And now my littles will join the grandparents on Sunday night, so we can pack Mon and Tuesday.  So this increases my potential seperation time from my 3 here at home (hard, scary, yes)....I'm trusting God will be carrying us all through.  I know He is and will be.  He's done too much to get us here... I will trust....And everytime the enemy rears his head (And he already is tonight), I will go back to 6am this morning, when God moved a MOUNTAIN!!!!! And I will take the next step with a greater faith than yesterday's faith, which was greater from the previous miracle He gave our family....and so on and so on as we look back at our journey with Jesus.


BIG Love from the most grateful daughter of the King,

Mandi

PS:  If God lays it on your heart to contribute and support Sonrise Baby Home.. we will be taking 4-5 large suit cases each with 50 lbs. of supplies for the home where our children have been loved and cared for over the last two years.  If you will be in LaGrange, GA this weekend, or anywhere between LaGrange and Savannah along an interstate....or anywhere along our route Wednesday from Savannah to Atlanta...we will be taking donations to Ug*nda to restock the necessary supplies at the home.  Or if you want to send $$ so I can grab some stuff at Walmart, that'll work too, just use paypal and comment that it is for the donation bags..  Jeremy and I will only be using 1 suitcase for us and the kids.:) So, COPY and PASTE this portion of my blog post and SHARE with ANYONE you like.
This is so last minute, so we'll just take whatever comes in...you hate to waste the opportunity...it is so hard and expensive for them to get certain supplies.

Twin Bed Sheets
Towels
Baby Formula new or expired
Children's Ibuprofen and Tylenol
Children's liquid vitamins (vi-ta-sol, i think)

Sonrise Children' Home has just opened a clinic (to even help the community) and hired a nurse...at this time the shelves need to be stocked with much needed antibiotics and malaria meds.  A life giving gift would be money, that you specify for this purpose.  The medicines can be purchased at local pharmacies there in Ug*nda without prescription for reasonable prices.

If you have any questions email me at: mandij75@yahoo.com

Thanks for EVERYTHING!!!!!

Ohhh, promise last sidenote (the squirrel effect)...Please respect the PRIVATE nature of this blog.  Emailing this to others, could jeopardize our case.  Now, I'd love to share and have more prayer warriors lifting us up.  If you get pumped, just send me their email address, tell me who it is and I will gladly add anyone to the private blog list.  Thanks for helping me with this. 

Keep Praying!!! So Close.....so close...

Let me just tell you, this week is intense.

 It is riddled with spritual attack, but OH the blessings and encouragement that comes with it.

  Emails from strangers that read,

 "I don't know what's going on with your family, but Hang In There!!" 

 Random phone call from Worldvision rep. (they've never called before in 3 yrs) and then she says she wants to pray with me for our family and our adoptions. (tears)

  Oh sweet love of Jesus, you take whatever form you wish, and you lavish it on us.

  All the kind words of prayer warriors, praying and believing with our family that this IS God's time for our family to travel and go to court, keep us encouraged. 

And then there is God's promise of provision for what He has asked us to do.

  Just this week, another phone call, a check is in the mail. 

It will be right on time, God's perfect time.

Today is 2 weeks, since our case was filed in court.

  Now, my dear friend who leaves next week, got the call for her court date EXACTLY two weeks after her filing in court.  Not that we expect anything to be the same from one family to another...cause it never is :).  Just sayin, lots of excitement in my heart from Monday to today.

  Monday as I prayed, I asked the Lord again

 if my desire and prayers were in accordance with His Will.

  I asked him to give me encouragement to keep praying this way, somehow.

  That afternoon we learned that 2 families with a different attorney

 got their court dates for June 24th and June 27th!! 

Very much before the break, in fact, that one family has 10 days to get their butts on a plane and get over there :).  Needless to say, I rejoiced for them and continued to pray for us.   

Now...how do I know we are Sooooo Close?????

I was on the phone with my Dad just an hour ago, and he asked again,

 "Now Mandi, with the time difference,

 remind me...it's too late to hear from them now, right?"

As I began to respond, I also opened my email to check.

I had just finished saying,

 "Yea, they usually come early in the morning and I wake up to find them. 

But there has been a rare occasion or two where I've gotten one late in the afternoon,

 like 8pm their time."

"Dad!!   I've got one now!!"

(catching my breath, I read)

Hello Mandi,

We were at court today but didn't get a hearing date.

 We go back tomorrow at 10:00a.m. We'll soon know.

Victoria

So precious prayer warriors, lift up our case before the Lord anytime tonight,

but that will be 2am AL time and 3am GA time :)

Please pray for a court date late June/early July.

PLEASE pray for a favorable Judge... (most critical part of this entire journey)

the one that God has selected to fulfill His plans for our family.

I'll leave you with a treat for now....I found this just recently...

A video of our son, tucked away from our mission trip last July.

We had NO idea he would one day be a Johnson.

(yes, I hate my voice on video (so I really love ya to share this ;)

 and even goofier I think I was talking with a different accent)

We'll soon know.  We'll soon know.



Oh Father

Oh Father...

 

Flies, wasps, ants,  they all chase after me

Fears, worries, anxieties,  I give them all to Thee

The power of the wind, reminds me you are near

In you alone I trust, whom shall I fear?

My children of the pearl, I know nothing of their hearts

Our lack of communication, is tearing me apart

Praise God it's only temporary

for it's His plan you see

One day my precious children

will finally be with me

With Great Attack...

comes great victory. 

Insane spiritual attack the last few days, and today was the kicker.  I love as another blogger put it..."Satan is so unoriginal."  And yes, I recognized the madness of it all because I've read so many first hand accounts of unimaginable events/chaos at the last steps in their adoption process. 

And all of this comes exactly as Jeremy and I have really begun to pray specifically for a miracle court date assignment, against all odds, BEFORE the July 15th break.  Afterwhich the courts are not hearing cases for a month+ (like summer vacation) until down in August.  When I say, it will be a miracle...like there are already families being given dates of August 16th and beyond, and there are many families that have been waiting for months :(.  Please pray for all these families and the children who wait for them.

I was about to take my kids to the beach with my Mom and had a complete uneasiness about going.  My husband confirmed that I needed to stay home and prepare for what we are believing.  So we picked up our anti-malaria meds and anti-travelers' diarhea meds...nice huh?  Actually, really amazing stuff that keeps you from getting it :)

So, hubby took kids this evening to a jumpy place, I scored a half price deal with a Groupon (love those).  I was to  have 2.5 hours to sew. Seriously, 1 bizarre phone call with a cherished family member, (tears), hit my knees...hung up with a friend and the doorbell rings...prospective (slick-willy)roofer is repeatedly insulting me, talking in argumentative circles...says, "let me just EXPLAIN it to your HUSBAND!!!"  (yea, those of you that know me real well are going, "oooooo, no he didn't?!?!)....I actually had to slam shut the door abruptly to make the insanity end.  Lord, what is going on?  Oh yea, I know we are about to walk the path you have for us, two orphans will be orphans no more...and Satan will do anything to crack us at this point. 

Now after all that drama, and my dear husband returning home to "hear" about it....can I just say I LOVE MY Husband!!!!  He said, "Girl, God is about to turn this mutha out!!"  MC Hammer 80s song...clean reference I promise :)
We are praying and hanging on. 

And just hours later, 30 minutes ago in fact, I learn that someone has given us $4000 for our adoption fund!!!!  Aiyiyiyyiyiyiy!  God is getting us ready to go...and whenever it is...we will be ready.  Well, sort of, you can never be fully ready for this..that's why we must have FAITH. 

We go to meet with a US attorney in the morning, to make sure we have all our ducks in a row...no surprises once we are home.  I will sleep well tonight.  God is good.

Thank you for sharing this journey with us,
Mandi

Ups and Downs....

of both emotions and fundraising.

Well, I'm excited to say that we received our first 5 orders for adoption dolls in the last 4 days!! Whoo whoo, those are the first orders of anything since the launch of www.FaithSteppin.com.  That is a huge praise.  It also really helps to keep me going by having my hands and mind wrapped up in the tiny details and precision of sewing dresses for dolls. :)  Now, for those of you keeping an eye on our fundraising thermometer....watching God fund what He favors...you will notice two things this evening:
    1) It reflects the recent sale of 5 dolls, because we had already paid (months back) for the shipment of $10 dolls in full and since that money is long gone, we are counting all of it as profit. :) 
    2) Next you will see that our overall goal has gone up.  :(  I know, it is a bummer, but it is the reality check we got when friends of ours began to purchase their tickets.  We discovered that there are NOT half-price tickets for children.  And we certainly won't be getting much discount when we purchase the one-ways only 3-4 days before flying.  Welcome to the completely unpredictable timeline of Uganda adoption.  We had also budgeted for the grown-up tickets, based on the suggestions of adoption agency outlines for Uganda of ($1500)....well, they budget on an average and July is actually the peak season for Uganda and therefore has the highest ticket rates of the year...yes, score one for the enemy on the ole pocketbook.  We over budgeted, using $2000, but not the actual of $2500.  I know very boring details, but for inquiring minds wanting to understand the finer details of this journey...there you go. 
    3)  We are actually getting pumped, because even though our goal post moved...God blessed our efforts this past month to eat WHATEVER was in the cupboard (not winning any nutrition awards) and try our best NOT to go back to the grocery store, no eating out, and going nowhere...and we've scraped a whopping $1000 from our budget to add to the goal.  We southerners would say to my kids, "Bless their hearts".  In reality we've actually grown to like Zatarains Beans and Rice mix and it is preparing us to enjoy the staple meal that our kids eat in Uganda.  Now one of my priorities is to learn how Auntie Loyce makes it at the baby home, cause Zatarains can't even touch the real thing she makes.

Now for the emotions part of this...and I use that loosely.  Emotions do get involved sometimes, but really I mean the details that effect the heart.  There is a daily yo-yo effect of negative news on the ground in Ug*nda from families there in the midst of the process (which is unusual).  There are many extenuating circumstances, many "unprecedented challenges" facing the active cases in country at this moment.  There are fb groups comprised entirely of families that have and are adopting from Ug*nda.  It is like most things of information, a completely double edged sword.  On one hand, it is one of the resources that gives any crazy fools, like us, the confidence to embark on an "independent" adoption with no agency, no guide to the ever winding, complicated process.  And on the other, when the reports are not good, and you have a large group of speculating parents with a huge heart calling...it is a recipe that the ENEMY loves to wreak havoc with (as you can easily imagine).  I'm doing okay, with not giving the enemy an inch...at the moment. 

In fact, I feel insane.  Who do I think I am, to deserve a miracle over the other families that have been "waiting" for a court date for months?  Why do I deserve to get from homestudy to waiting for a court date in 4.5 months??  I don't...and I don't.  I must tell you, if God had not been opening the doors that He so miraculously has thus far...I would never have the boldness to ask.  And yet, here we are.  How can I not ask...do I not have the faith that He is a mountain mover?? No, WE DO!  We have personally seen him move mountains in our lives, we have seen his miraculous hand in the very lives of our children, MORE THAN ONCE! And most importantly, we have his WORD, where He tells us, over and over about the prayer of faith, that by faith He answers.   We are down to what I "feel" like is a two week window, if we base our thoughts loosely on what has actually happened for another teeny group of folks recently.....in order to get that call that we have been assigned a court date somewhere between June 30th and July 15th.  So what I am trying to express is the struggle between having the faith to ask, because he tells us "you have not, because you ask not"...and feeling like a spoiled brat wanting things to hurry.  I really don't, want things to hurry.  I give myself a heart/gut check regularly.  I've walked with the Lord long enough to know that I don't want anything He has for me, for us, for our family, before the hour, the moment the He has chosen to place it in our lives.  I've also lived it, time after time, when He delays, when it seems disappointing at first...in the end when His promise is fulfilled I can see His hand and I see the blessing of the delay.  So because of those hard places, I trust. 

Then there are the realities of day to day life, while you are praying BELIEVING, and yet remaining peaceful that it may not happen.  IF I believe He is about to part the red sea of Ug*ndan adoption for us, then should I be preparing??...like making sure my kids have clothes, that I have my malaria medicine, that we've done all we can to not have debt when it comes time to purchase airline tickets, that we have childcare for our kids, that Jeremy's work schedule will still work with our moving target, knowing that when we get THAT CALL, we will have about two weeks notice to prepare.  Or does it seem I am getting the cart before the horse?  Am I getting myself all worked up for disappointment?  Or am I remaining full of HOPE(not doubting in my heart) to the bitter end, knowing how my Heavenly Father loves to bless us when our requests are in the center of His will?  Aahhhh, this is the nature of the struggle. 

I have not heard anything from my attorney since last Thursday....and from what we are hearing, I don't want to bother her.  So we pray, to the only one who has any control over these things, our Abba Father.  And we ask you to pray with us.  That whatever plays out in the next 2-3 weeks that He give us the strength and peace to endure.  And until the door is closed for this opportunity we hold GREAT HOPE...

Romans 5:3-5, "Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character;  and character, hope.  And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."

I will stop for tonight...someone on FB is having a Summer Reading Bible Challenge and there's nothing like a little competitive accountability to keep me in the word as I wait.  There's nothing else that I need actually.  Most overdue blog post is next...to really cover all the thoughts, feelings, fears, of why I feel like a mad woman to be praying for something to happen quicker, that is the HARDEST thing we have ever faced.  My husband and I wrestle with these thoughts, feelings, and beliefs through tears...and at the end of the day the only answer is obedience and love.  The greatest love of all, the love of Christ that he has given us and filled us with, that poured out from Calvary's tree. 

One day and prayer at a time,
Mandi

Cliffhanger Weekend

Now that our blog is private I didn't want to leave you all hanging over the weekend.  Against all odds, against a backdrop of some really disappointing news for many families...God continues to move on our behalf.  After a death in the extended family of one of our children, the Ugandan mourning process that normally lasts up to a month placed someone who needed to sign a paper for our file far away and unreachable by phone.  Our case could not be filed without that paper, without that signature.  We prayed.  Without our asking, God laid it on the hearts of friends we made on our mission trip to go and find this person for their signature.  God made a way, and after several days and who knows what kind of logistical effort (this is Africa) on the ground.  Our final sheet of paper, was indeed signed and our file was complete.  We received word from our attorney that she was to file our case with the High Court on Friday.  We have not received confimation if it did or did not.  We are believing.  Straight from our attorney who is a dear Sister in Christ...she said we must pray for a quick allocation (assigning of a Judge) and to get a favorable  Judge.  Pray for us to get the Judge that the Lord has planned to fulfill His plan for our family.  We do not know whether it is His plan for us to make it before the summer break ("suppposedly" July 15th) or not.  He keeps filling us with Hope that this may be His plan, as He has gotten us to this point against all odds and in miraculous timing.  We place all our trust in the Lord, as we pray and wait and prepare.

Thank you, thank you for lifting our family up during this time.  And we thought we learned to wait during Jeremy's 7 years in the military....Ha!  just a little preparation. :)
God's humor once again. 

Grateful for friends and prayer warriors,
Mandi

Silence invites Fear

Weeell, I was waiting for good news to post.  But it has not come.  Actually I've gone from communicating with my attorney every 2 days or so, to not hearing from them in over a week now.  It has my heart a bit unsettled, because it has appeared that God was swinging doors wide open (miraculous, blessed beyond measure timeline thus far) for us to get filed in court and possible get a court date before the Judges take their summer break (July 15th, usually sooner).  I knew we were down to the wire, when 1 week ago, our law firm reported that one piece of paper was needed and they were ready to file our case. 

Now I know that God knows what is going on, and when He wants things done, It. Will. Happen.  But the silence in the wait is breeding grounds for the enemy to fill you with fear.  My heart knows I have nothing to fear, the Word tells me that over and over... but the message gets muttled on the way to this Momma's overthinking brain.

It also doesn't help that my dearest friend in the world/fellow adoptive mommy, just got her court date and is purchasing tickets to go get her sons.  Don't get me wrong, I screamed and cried like a fool, FULL of JOY for them.  But with all the wildly swinging doors opening for us thus far, my spoiled rotten heart has not let go of the desire of my heart for our two families to be able to share part of the journey together.  I am just sharing this to say, that I haven't given up HOPE that my and Kim's time in Uganda might overlap.  My God is a mountain mover and at this point a MOUNTAIN will have to move for that to happen.  (Perspective check: Kim and Josh began their adoption journey in Sept. so to say that the Lord has put us on warp speed to come within 3 wks of them is a HUGE understatement).  So grateful for all He has done.

The reality is that each day that I don't get an email, it seems as if my dream may be slipping away.  Now, I shared all that, so you can pray with me.  Ultimately all I want are for Kim's boys to be home safely with her, and my son and daughter home with me each in the unique perfect timing that God has planned for our families.  But I'm an optimist to the very end, even if I set myself up for a little more heartache.  That is me, my name is Mandi. 

I am over the moon that Kim & Josh's timeline is before the break, and that two of the precious children of Sonrise Baby Home, that many of us have prayed for (for almost 2 years) are going to be given a Mom and a Dad and sisters to love and cherish them FOREVER.  They will be orphans NO. MORE!!! Hallelujah.  And that keeps me going, keeps us going, until our turn comes.  And it. will. come.

Who am I kidding?  If I work around the clock, I won't ever be fully prepared for the day I get the call to fly to Uganda.  Lord Jesus, go before us, make a way Lord and we will walk in it.

Thank you so much for praying for the Moody Family and our family.
1) Pray for us, that we here good news before the end of this week :)
2) Pray for God's provision of both families' adoption funds.  We just learned that the plane tickets for our children on the way home will be $1000 more per ticket than budgeted.  That's just part of it when we are traveling peak summer season and will have to purchase the kid's tickets with only 3 days notice.
3) Pray for peace and productivity as the Moody families makes a million lists and prepares to travel in about 3 weeks.  Aiiiiiiiii!

Love,
Mandi

Taking Names not Chances...

The names I need are yours.

That is, if you wanna come along on this crazy, FULL of LOVE journey to Uganda with us.

Actually, I need your email addresses so I can send you an invite to the private blog.  So please leave a comment below or send your email to:

mandij75@yahoo.com

It is a huge praise that we are even at this point in the journey.  We don't want any part of our testimony to be misinterpreted and have any negative effect on our cases, so we aren't taking any chances. 

While the blog is private, a dear friend has/is creating an online store for us to be able to continue to fundraise the remaining fees for our adoptions.  We have about $4000 to go, whoo whoo, and then we'll be able to board a plane when it is time.  So if we aren't friends on fb, check back each day for cool things at:

http://www.faithsteppin.com/

Now, don't forget to leave me your address:)

I don't know if there are 2 people or 20 people reading, but I can't thank you enough for praying for our family.  We have been so blessed throughout this process and have already seen the answers to so many prayers.  Thank you for praying us through.

With a grateful heart,

Mandi